Respect People, Not Positions

Treat everyone equally, regardless of their status or authority.

When I was a white belt, I remember being invited to a promotion ceremony and seeing some of the guys at the gym get their black belts. There was crying, hugging, and flowery speeches about perseverance. I remember being in awe of these people who had done something so incredible, and who could beat me in a fight without even breaking a sweat.

But as Groucho Marx once said, “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.” When it was my time to get a black belt, I had a different read on the situation.

I remember standing for my black belt promotion with the other brown belts. I'd known them for years. They weren't modern-day samurai or warrior badasses. They were just like me: Old, boring, regular dudes who were mostly training Jiu-Jitsu so they could hide from their families for an hour or so.

But you know what? There were probably a bunch of impressionable white belts watching us get promoted and being just as in awe as I once was.

After going through the belt lifecycle and coming out the other end, there's something I've realized:

A black belt isn't a credential. It's just a thing that happens if you hang around.

Respect people, not positions.

You may have heard me use the mantra, “Respect people, not positions.” If I look up to someone, it'll be because of what they do, not how they're advertised.

Unfortunately, some people believe their black belt makes them special, and they'll treat you differently because of it. That's not fair to you, both as a customer and as a person.

Cults of personality are far too common in Jiu-Jitsu. It's easy to get hypnotized by the black belt. But remember: your instructors are just people too. They're not magical, they're not mind-readers, and they will make mistakes.

We should avoid being overly reverent of authority figures, both on and off the mats. We should be able and willing to question those senior to us. We should acknowledge the benefit of experience, but still be allowed to challenge ideas when they don't make sense.

Don't let status shape your opinion of the human. Avoid the natural human bias toward authority. Be willing to learn from anyone, and expect to be heard in return.

I hope you've found an instructor you can respect, not because of their belt rank, but because they've earned it through their conduct, integrity, and care.