Reframing

Shift your negative thinking to something more productive.

I talk to lots of folks about their Jiu-Jitsu problems, and the single most common issue people share with me has nothing to do with armbars or omoplatas. It's negative thought patterns.

William Shakespeare once wrote, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Much of the suffering we endure is self-inflicted and never exists outside the space between our ears. It's a silent war we fight against ourselves.

Luckily, this is a war that's winnable. Let's talk about “reframing,” the practice of shifting away from negative thinking toward something more productive.

Reframing your negative thoughts

Negativity is self-destructive and growth-limiting. Unfortunately, you can't just ask your brain to “stop thinking negative thoughts.” People have tried, and brains don't respond well to that. 🤣

So instead of trying to halt negative thinking, we replace negative thoughts by reframing them into positive ones. We alter our perspective so we see the good in our situation rather than obsessing over the bad.

In the context of Jiu-Jitsu, reframing your negative thoughts might look like this:

“I'm not good at armbars” becomes...
“Every time I attempt an armbar, I get a bit better at them!”

“I don't want to roll with Bob because he always beats me” becomes...
“Bob always gives me a great challenge and makes me work!”

“Competing makes me so nervous” becomes...
“I'm so excited to be here and have this opportunity!”

“I'm a failure for losing” becomes...
“I got so much competition experience that will help me next time!”

“I don't deserve my belt” becomes...
“I'm thankful my coach sees value in me, I'll keep doing my best!”

7 tips for reframing negativity

Unfortunately, reframing negative thoughts is easier said than done! Here are 7 proven tips for getting the job done:

#1: Develop awareness.
You can't reframe negative thoughts unless you're mindful of them happening! With practice, you can catch yourself when thinking negatively, and that's the first step toward reframing.

#2: Shift your focus.
When you catch yourself engaging in negative thought patterns, don't try to “stop” the negative thought. Instead, focus on an interpretation of your situation that's more positive, optimistic, and productive.

#3: Use the 10-10-10 rule.
Ask yourself: “How will I feel about this situation 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years from now?” This helps us understand whether our circumstances are as bad as we worried. Often, they're not.

#4: Compartmentalize.
If your negativity is justified, give yourself the time you need to process it, but commit to timeboxing and moving on. Jiu-Jitsu coaches sometimes permit their athletes to mope after a loss for no more than a single day, after which they get back to work.

#5: Act “as if.”
In other words, “Fake it 'til you make it.” If you want to think positive, then act positive! Acting “as if” is a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) technique that's proven to help reframe negative thoughts.

#6: Compete only against yourself.
So much of our mental suffering comes from comparing ourselves to others. If you catch yourself doing this, reframe your thinking to compare yourself against the person you were yesterday. Over the long term, this is the only comparison that really matters.

#7: Foster a growth mindset.
Moving from a “fixed” mindset to a “growth” mindset is one of the easiest ways to reframe your thoughts. There's a big difference between, “I'm not good at this” and, “I'm learning this.”
 

On the podcast:

• Ep. 314: Reluctant Leadership, feat. Ken Postnikoff

Further study:

• Mindfulness
• 10-10-10 Rule
• Mental Gatekeeping
• Compartmentalization
• Reflecting "As If"
• Self-Competition
• Growth Mindset